Friday, April 23, 2010

Twenty-Four Months = Two Years = Endless Waiting

Today marks two years since our adoption file arrived in Ethiopia.  I can't believe I have to write that; it feels surreal.  Two years.  That number's not computing in my brain, not permeating.  Two years.  Two. Years.

I think I stated my feelings adequately on this subject a couple of weeks ago (see here).  I'd like to add an observation to those thoughts:  ever since Matthew's prayers of last week (see this one), I've been feeling less devastated by the length of time that this is taking, and more inspired to try to release control of the situation (as if I ever had control over it in the first place), and let God take over for me.  I've felt more able to let things go, and recognize God's timing in this situation...even if I don't understand it.  Those children, like Matthew, are so utterly imbedded in my heart; it's comforting to know that God already knows and loves them.  Surely some day, we, too, will meet them.

Onwards we proceed.

* Thanks, everyone, for your supportive comments, and for the prayers and hugs we received from across the country!  Shannon, thanks for toasting us and our two years!  Almost surprisingly, the day has come and gone now, and we survived it.  I'm so glad that, if our wait had to be this long (and longer), we've at least got this longest part behind us.  Thanks again.


  1. Aw, Ruth. I'm so sorry you've reached a milestone you never hoped for. Hang in there... it can't be much longer, and your children will be all sitting around your dinner table eating oatmeal and fruit smoothies! :D

    Much love being sent your way today.

  2. Thinking about you Ruth! (I tried emailing you but it wouldn't go through).
    You are so right about the control and leaving it to God. I think that was the main lesson I needed to learn and am still learning as I had so little control of my children's life before they came here and we deal with that everyday.
    Always thinking and praying you get your referral soon!!

  3. Two years...yes, that is definately something - but it is not endless - this will end and it will be wonderful.

    lots of ((((hugs))))


  4. Well yep, in some ways this sucks but from another perspective, you made it to two years. It probably felt at times like you wouldn't survive the wait and you have. I recently re-read an e-mail you sent me the day of the bankruptcy and although two years is way too long to wait, on that day, it seemed like you were at a dead end and now you are still waiting but there is an end in sight. I know it would be easier if you knew when the end was but at least you know it is there.

    Another thing I wanted to hopefully encourage you with is how much I believe that God chooses the children specifically for you and you for them. I didn't believe this as much before as I do now. The kids we have were meant to be our kids and the length of our wait was about that. It was about allowing God's plan for us and for them to unfold. So yep, God is in control of the timing and as much as we would like for things to speed up, the timing of things is precisely what will bring you to the kids that God has chosen specifically for you...a perfect fit, not necessarily easy but perfect!

  5. Ruth
    2 years !!!!!
    I can not add much as all the above comments said most of my thoughts. Just think how perfect your match will be. I also think that we will be so much more grateful and excited after these crazy waits.

    I had dinner with one of my best friends who I have not seen in 2 years. It was very emotional telling about the fall of Imagine, and very exciting to tell all the details about how we rose.

    I am glad Matthew has given you some strength to keep you strong.

    I hope you can toast how far you have come and with hitting the 2 year mark just think how much of the wait is behind you.

    So glad we have met and can keep plugging along together.

    I cant wait to till the day your perfect children are all in your arms.

    I look forward to hearing every little magical detail of the kids who fill your heart.

    Have a great weekend, I am going to have a toast to your 2 year mark and sending you a big hug and 3 more one for each of your kids.