Thursday, August 5, 2010

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry if I Want To...

Fortunately, I don't want to cry!  So you're off the hook - no comfort necessary!  Though a few birthday wishes might be lovely (hint hint)!!

So let's just deal with the question you have on your mind:  How old am I?  Well, the answer should be no big surprise given that for the past year, my blog profile has advertised that I was forty-three.  But just to be clear, I'm forty-four today...or I will be at about 11:35 tonight.  I know that a lot of people are sensitive about revealing their (real) age, and I occasionally get myself into trouble by asking a little too freely how old someone is...only to have a moment of insight as I see the reaction in that person's face, and realize, too late, that maybe I shouldn't have asked that question.

By contrast, I'm not one to hide my age.  After all, whether I say it out loud or not, the reality doesn't change - I am who I am, and I am as old as I am.  It's not a big deal to me.

It is a big deal to me that certain things I'd wished to happen by this age haven't happened.  Most notably, I had certainly envisioned that my family would be complete by this point in my life.  And yet, here I am, still hoping that we receive a referral that will enable us to move on to the next chapter in our lives.  Oh, how I long for that day to happen before too much more time passes.  When we started the adoption process, I was thirty-six years old.  Eight years later, we're still at it...though of course, in the interim, we were also fortunate enough to have brought our miracle boy into existence.

I wondered how I'd feel today.  Geoff has been out of town all week, and returns tomorrow morning.  It's the first time we've ever missed being together on one of our birthdays.  But you know what?  I'm really ok with it.  Ever since Matthew came along, my birthday doesn't feel all that important any more - I just don't care about it in the same way that I used to.  I don't need much on the actual day:  a card is mandatory, true, as is a cake (which I understand Geoff has stored away in the freezer for Matthew and me to enjoy later on today!); but gifts are purely optional these days.  I'm perfectly happy if Geoff has made the effort to do something like buy me a book that I'd like to read.  In fact, this year, he and I decided to do something a little different for our birthdays.  Because our birthdays are less than two weeks apart, we decided this year that we'd skip the usual gift-giving and, instead, buy theatre tickets for a performances this fall...that way, we get out for an evening together (which happens rarely), and we have something to look forward to.

Matthew's been singing me Happy Birthday all week already, and we had a gargantuan birthday-related ice cream celebration with my niece on the long weekend at the cottage, so I'm already feeling well celebrated.  Oh, and my sister is in NYC right now and hoping to scour China Town there for a purse to bring back for my birthday (I'm secretly hoping for something in a bright green, but I feel confident more confident in her taste than in my own, so I'm sure it'll be great no matter what colour it is).  Geoff left me a card earlier in the week that I shall soon go and open.  I have a friend coming over to visit with her two kids this morning.  And tonight, to celebrate 'officially,' Matthew and I are heading out to dinner with a dear friend that I've known since we were both twelve; that will be a lovely ending to a day that has already started well.   Happy Birthday to Me!!

* My goodness, I do feel celebrated - thank you for all of the birthday wishes!!!


  1. Happy Birthday Ruth!! I hope you have a very good day. It certainly would be different to have your husband away for your birthday. So far mine has always been around for mine. I'm excited to hear about a new purse. I too would love a bright green one. I hope you have a lovely supper out and I always feel a mandatory part of my birthday is not having to cook. And I love the idea of getting theatre tickets! Sounds like a great way to ensure a date in the future.

  2. I already wished you a Happy Birthday on fb, but I thought I would here too :)


  3. Happy Birthday Ruth! Enjoy every moment of your birthday week!

  4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH! Hope you have a wonderful day! Love the idea of getting theatre tickets for your birthdays - Darryl and I are 2 weeks apart too and often come up with a joint gift idea for ourselves. :)

  5. Happy Birthday Ruth. My wish for you is to have a referal before the day is done. Wouldn't that just be the best birthday. i was hoping for that in July but it didn't happen although the referals did start up again on my birthday which also was a good surprise. Anyway have a great day.

  6. Happy, happy birthday! Enjoy your day!

  7. A very Happy Birthday to you Ruth! I hope you have a super day!

  8. Happy Birthday Ruth!!! I wish for you a ringing phone and an accompanying set of emails - all from IA!!!!

  9. Happy Birthday Ruth!!! You are amazing!xx

  10. Happy Birthday to youuuuu!! happy birthday to youuuu!!
    I hope you have a good day and that your referral will be come soon, the day is still young...

    Have a great day and enjoy your birthday cake

    Maria (anxiously waiting for things to happen)

  11. Happy Birthday, Ruth!!!!

    I hope your birthday phone call, I mean, wish, comes true!!!!!!!!!


  12. Happy Birthday! I have the distinct feeling that you will not turn forty five as the mother of only one child so an extra reason to celebrate your last birthday as the mom of one! I am glad to hear that your husband thought ahead and that you got to be celebrated today. Hope dinner is lovely, the conversation is great, and Matthew gives you an extra birthday hug!

  13. Happy Birthday to you,
    Happy Birthday to you,
    I am praying for a referral,
    For me and you too!

    I too, don't have a problem revealing my true age. I am just so thankful to have lived this long with my children. My Ethiopian son's parents died in their 30's. It's all perspective.

    Happy a very blessed day!

  14. Happy Birthday Ruth, I hope your day is a special one.

  15. Happy birthday Ruth ! Bonne fête !

    I hope your day was wonderful and wishing you this new year will bring your little one in your family.

  16. Happy Birthday, Ruthie. Sounds like it was a good day. Your body may be 44, but your toes have lived through several lifetimes of wear and tear. Be easy on them this year! ;)

  17. Happy Birthday Ruth!! I hope you had an awesome day!! Hopefully you will get a belated gift very soon!!!

  18. HI Ruth

    So glad you had such a good celebration, Hope you are still enjoying the feeling.


    ps I sent you something via your email ( the shaw account ) wondering if it got through to you ? )