Saturday, November 22, 2014

Rush, Rush, Rush

Yesterday was one of those crazy days when you leave the house in the morning and don't fall into bed until close to midnight.  I'm not wild about those kinds of days when the day starts early and I rush from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next, and by the time I get home past 10pm, having traded vehicles and children with Geoff around dinner time in order to rush off to a meeting and then finally come home and see over 60 emails waiting in my inbox and it all just seems too much... No wonder my sleep was disturbed by dreams about emails and people chasing me around corner after corner and by my panic about not being able to evade any of them.

My anxiety only increases at the realization that Christmas is suddenly just around the corner.  I have started nothing yet about getting ready for Christmas this year.  By comparison I was almost completely ready for Christmas by this time last year; I had my baking and gift shopping done by end of November.  Done.  This year I don't even have a list prepped yet.  I used to be ok with this kind of more-last-minute kinda thing, but I've found over the past few years that it just doesn't work this way for me any more.  Given that I have only Thursday evenings to myself, I have to be very careful to plan well ahead so that I actually have the time to get done what I need to.  So now I'm panicking a little.

I feel a need for one of my old retreat weekends...those lovely, silent (being the operative word), 24-hour retreats I went on somewhat regularly for a while there after our tough transition to being a family of five.  Ahh, yes, perhaps if I just meditate on those silent retreats for a while...

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