Santa Claus is Coming to Town...Not!

As you may know from past Christmas posts that I've written, and despite hanging up stockings on the mantle for the first time this year, we are not Santa people.  I've always told Matthew (and now Seth and Lizzie) that Santa is a good story that found its roots in the real person of St. Nicholas.  I think it's a fun story and I am totally ok reading about Santa as such...I just want them to know that it's fiction, like many of the books we read.

It hasn't always been easy to maintain this approach.  Santa is heavily promoted in our society and every year umpteen people approach my kid(s) and ask if they've been a good girl or a bad boy and is Santa going to have a reason to land on our roof on Christmas Even.  Just yesterday someone asked Seth if he was a good Santa's helper; he looked at me and said "what should I say?" to which I responded to the woman, "Well, for sure he's a good helper for his Mommy."  She frowned, dissatisfied.  Seth beamed.

Two or three years ago, a waitress sat down at a table where Matthew and I were waiting for our lunch and told him that I had misled him because there really was a Santa...this in response to Matthew saying (after she'd asked about the good boy bad boy thing) that Santa was a story and not real.  You can imagine my conversation with Matthew on the way out of the restaurant a bit later, when he was questioning whether I had been lying to him!  Needless to say, we have never set food inside that restaurant again...I couldn't believe her nerve!

It's so ironic that Matthew would question me about my truth telling, when I'm likely one of the only moms in the northern hemisphere who has actually told him the actual and firm truth since his first Christmas on earth.  We argued on the subject for a few years about whether I'm telling him the truth.  Seriously!  Arguing about Santa and I'm on the side of telling him that Santa. is. not. real!  Even last year was touch and go, in terms of whether or not he was going to believe the truth!

Thank goodness this year he is talking as if he has conceded that battle.  I overheard Seth asking Matthew the other day, "Do we believe in Santa?  I forget.  I hear other kids talking about Santa."   Cute.  Understandable.

Matthew's answer:  "It's a terrific story, Seth, just like The Gingerbread Man. But no, we don't believe that he's real.  Mom and Dad give us our presents."  Couldn't have said it better myself...and I thought throwing in the reference to a favourite book was a great idea.

I've always been rather curious about why people promote/encourage the Santa thing so much.  Pre-kids I used to think that maybe encouraging a belief in Santa was a way to foster imagination; but post-kids I realize that kids typically have huge imaginations anyway...even Seth and Lizzie have learned to play in imaginary worlds and can do so spectacularly given the trauma of their past and without the need of a Santa.

I've also wondered if it's a magical aura that surrounds the whole Santa/reindeer thing...and maybe there is a bit of that which draws the masses.  But I've have to say that there's something pretty magical that appears on our kids' faces when they decorate the tree or wonder about what's in that gift under the tree with their name on it and when they hear the story of the Christ child who was laid in a manger and who grew up to be a Saviour.  There's something about twinkling lights and shimmering candles that does it for me and seems to for the kids, too.  Christmas is a magical time of year, Santa or not.

Then I've wondered if the Santa thing is such a draw because there's not (commercially) a whole lot of Christ in the Christmas season any more and so maybe folks who aren't Christ-believers use the notion of a Santa in place of a Jesus.  I know that this can't be entirely right either, though, because I know many Christians also encourage (or allow) their children to believe in the Santa story.

So I'm left a little perplexed in my wonderings about why people use Santa to celebrate Christmas.  Any insights??  Why do you, perhaps, incorporate Santa into the season?

There are a couple of reasons for my refusal to do the Santa spiel.

One of the reasons is purely selfish:  I don't want Santa getting the credit for the labour of love that Geoff and I invest in getting ready for Christmas.  Those carefully chosen little stocking stuffers that I'm lovingly choosing for my kids this year?  Those larger gift items that we're thinking through to get just right?  The conscious choice we've made not to spend a ton of money on Christmas gifts?  I want the kids to know that we thought this through...that it wasn't some guy in a suit who did all of the thinking and the work.  So much about being a parent can be hard and I sometimes feel like I'm the 'bad guy' a little too often.  I want them to know that I've been rushing around a little picking out things that I know will mean something to them.  Silly?  Perhaps.  But when Matthew, or Seth, or Lizzie look Geoff and me in the eye after opening up their gifts and thank us, I want them to know that it was done with love.  From their Mom and Dad.

Undoubtedly, another primary reason I feel rather strongly about this issue is because I remember as a child of about Seth's current age finding out that Santa wasn't real and feeling jaded and lied to and foolish for having believed all of the propaganda.  I know many people don't have this experience but it was very real for me.  I don't recall my parents actively promoting Santa, but I certainly believed in him and finding out that he wasn't real hurt enough that I vowed that I would always tell my kids the truth (along with cautioning them not to spread the truth to other kids!).  It's also important in these very days because I'm working hard with my beloved middle and younger children on truth telling; just the other day I asked them during one fragile moment how they might feel if Mommy or Daddy lied to them and they both stated a shocked "no."  Things are improving dramatically on this front, but it's still an issue that I would not want to confuse by perpetuating the Santa story with them.  I consciously commit the truth to them in a way that they will probably not experience from most of the world.

I must say that I don't feel one iota judgmental about people who do the whole Santa thing...I know lots of people have lots of fun with it and that most kids are just fine upon learning the truth.  I just know it's not for us...and I'm glad that my kids (finally) seem inclined to believe me!