Thursday, June 7, 2012

Back into the Swing of Things...Sadly.

I didn't feel like getting up this morning.  Really.  It wasn't even very early when I woke up (Seth actually slept 'til 7:00, miracle of miracles, and Lizzie even later, which is equally unheard of!!).  But I just really wanted to stay in bed.  It felt like all of the driving and all of the emotions of the past two weeks had suddenly caught up with me and were weighing on my chest.  I wanted to stay horizontal in the worst way.  But when you have a six-year-old raring to go, and two others that you know will be the same the moment they wake up, there's not a whole lot of choice!  So up I got, and Seth and I headed downstairs to make sandwiches and gather stuff for a picnic lunch.

By 9:00am the kids and I were in the car, on route to a h/school field trip for the next few hours.  It was actually a really good field trip:  A slow hike through some of the trails at a local environmental centre; bug netting in the long grasses; dip netting on our tummies on a boardwalk running through a beautiful marsh; spotting various birds, prairie dogs, squirrels, ducks, baby ducks, turtles; etc etc.  It was really good.

But my tiredness was compounded by the incredible humid and sticky hot weather conditions - it was one of those days when your shirt starts to stick to you within minutes of stepping outside.  The kids and I were all sweating buckets as we walked (really, you should see my little kids sweat - it just pours out of their pores, if you'll excuse the pun).  We were going to eat our lunch outside as a picnic but frankly, by the time we'd spent 2.5 hours walking around and exploring outside in that heat, we were pretty much baked right we opted for the gloriously air-conditioned interior of the Centre and consumed large amounts of water along with our sandwiches.

When we got home, I ignored all of my prevoiusly-adhered-to notions about no tv being better for the kids, and I turned the idiot box on so that I could collapse in our little library with a glass of ice water.  I simply closed my eyes and breathed and listened to my heart while the kids watched tv.  Those 45 minutes were the best part of my day!

All too soon, it was time to prepare for gymnastics and for the boys' evening cycling program, which meant scurrying around the kitchen to prep the supper that they and Geoff would eat in the car on route to their cycling club and the snacks that they would eat on the way home.

Despite feeling like I'm not ready to move on yet, despite all of the memories that I don't want to slip away, despite a chunk of my heart feeling as if it's still in Alberta, despite my desire to not be so caught up in the routine of it all so quickly, it almost felt as if we'd never been gone, never had such a wonderful break.  Funny how that happens.  But I say almost because I do have those memories of the past two weeks; I have so many things tucked into my heart to think about and mull over and ponder; my heart feels a little achy with it all tossing and turning around in there.  Is it wrong to wish that we were still there?

Life, in so many ways, gets complicated as we get older, doesn't it?  Right along with the realities which dictate that things just continue to chug right along again despite our desire for things to stand still for a little while longer.

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