Too Little, Too Late?

The kids have been in school for about two weeks now. And their transition has been going really well, I think. For Matt, there's been little adjustment because he did a few courses at this school last year already. He's good - and making some friends as well. Seth doesn't talk about school very much, but he seems ok - he doesn't resist going in the mornings, and his body language is pretty good when walking into the school. And the words that he does offer up aren't complaining words; so that's important too. And Lizzie is loving school so far. I see her enjoying the routine and structure of it all, the people she is starting to befriend, and the volleyball that she's trying out for. She doesn't even mind the homework (yet!). Lizzie has always been big on a need for structure (something that I didn't offer as much of as she likely would have preferred), so I think this is going to continue to be a good thing. So yeah, it's been a good start to school.

The ease with which my two younger are adapting has had me questioning whether I should have enrolled them in previous year(s) already. I have questioned whether I've held them back in any way from something that they might have benefited from earlier. This thought has given me a few pangs over the past few weeks...and earlier in the summer, too, admittedly, as I pondered this possibility. 

Should I have stopped h/schooling them earlier? Maybe. 

But as I've been working it through in my head, I have come to think a few things:

* First, I can't turn the clock back anyway, so even if it was a mistake to wait until now to enrol them, I can't do anything about it other than feel regret - and since when is regret productive??

* Second, it's occurred to me more than a few times that I'm so thankful that they weren't registered in school during the past 18 months, when the pandemic made school a miserable and complicated thing. My kids would merely have joined the ranks of the millions of kids not even being able to attend school.

* Neither of my younger kids would have been prepared academically to join the school system any earlier. As I mentioned in my post last month, Lizzie just caught up to 'grade level' this summer. So it would have been difficult for her/them to join any sooner. As it is, Lizzie has been delighted to learn that the math she is doing in these early days of the school year is familiar to her and not too difficult. Given that Math is her toughest subject, it's lovely watching her feel confident about what's she's already learned and prepared for.

* I know this issue ins't about me, but truly I don't think I would have been ready to send them to school any earlier than this year - even this year's decision has been painful enough! Heck, I thought I'd be h/schooling them right through to the end of high school! It was a really hard decision-making process to go through, to make such a big change in our life's plan.

* My two younger have had so much to deal with over the decade since they joined the family. Being adopted, they've simply had (still do have) more issues to deal with than the average kid; and being adopted as 'older children' left them with more layers of the onion to deal with. The priority for me, with Seth and Lizzie, has always been to cultivate as much attachment as possible, so that they could go forth into the world as secure and sure-footed as possible. I have definitely made mistakes along the way, but that's always been a major priority for them. I don't know that I could have let them go any earlier than this year, because I didn't see them as being developmentally or emotionally read until now. And now I think they're far more ready, and able, to fly...to find their places in the world...and to have other people provide educational input into their lives. 

So...

Even though it gives my heart a pang to know that they're enjoying school, even though it's sometimes hard to hear Lizzie talk about how much she is liking school, even though it's tough to hear Seth say that he'd never h/school his kids - in my heart of hearts, I know that it's been the right decision to school them at home until now, just like I know that this is the right time for them to be there. The timing for their being in school is perfect. It's because they're ready for it that things have started out so well.