Change is Coming

There are changes happening in our little family unit; big changes, from my perspective.

About six months ago, in February, I began my annual prayer time about the 2021-2022 academic year, which will begin about a month from now. We've been homeschoolers throughout my kids' school life, but every year I've spent time in February and March praying about the upcoming academic year, looking for God's plan in our academic ventures. Early on in our h/schooling journey, I chose February and March to pray about the following year because it's usually around the end of March that I've begun planning for the following h/schooling year. Our decision to homeschool has always been confirmed as the right path for our family.

I expected the same result this year; that our decision to continue h/schooling would be confirmed. To my surprise, however, something different began to emerge. As I was praying about Seth's upcoming year, still seven months into the future, I struggled even knowing how to pray for him. The previous year had been a difficult one for Seth, and I was low on creativity in terms of how to provide him with schooling that worked better for him. It felt agonizing to pray for him this year, and I was so confused about how to proceed in his best interests. I desperately wanted to make things better for Seth. To my surprise, while I was praying about/for him, a word flashed across my mind with vivid clarity and unmistakably bright yellow in colour. "Freedom" was the word on my mind, that first prayer time, and at subsequent times. I knew precisely and instantly what that word meant, although I initially resisted it. 

Let me back up for just a moment. There is an independent, private Christian school in the downtown of our city that was founded about three years ago by a friend of mine. It's a tiny school (I think it had around 22-24 kids registered in the 2020-2021 school year) and it is mostly attended by high school kids who have emigrated to Canada (mostly from parts of Africa, but elsewhere as well) and who have academic challenges uniquely related to their history and who may be below grade level. The friend who founded the school had previously invited us to consider registering Seth to attend the school. However, it had never really been a consideration for us because we'd assumed that, unless we heard otherwise from God, we'd be homeschoolers to the end. That was always my plan/hope for the future. 

However, this February, when a single word kept appearing in my mind while praying for Seth, a new plan for his schooling began to emerge. Why? Because the name of the school that I'm talking about is Freedom School.

That was the beginning point of a three month process of considering Seth's best interests and praying for wisdom. In the end we decided that he would benefit from having additional educational input into his life. There were many considerations that led us to the decision point, and in the end we registered him to attend school this fall! Academics have been tough for Seth, largely due to circumstances completely beyond his control; and the teachers at Freedom School are uniquely and extremely well qualified to help him advance. It was a tough decision on my part; maybe less so for my hubby, who has watched me struggle this past academic year to best educate our boy. So we are hoping and praying that this unique opportunity will be just what he needs. He will enter grade 11 at Freedom School just one short month from now. 

On a similar time line, we also began to take a close look at our 14-year-old Lizzie, who will start grade 9 (high school) this fall. Lizzie has made huge strides, academically, over the past 18-24 months. It was about two years ago that Lizzie decided that she wanted to be at 'grade level' - something that was never a priority for me because as homeschoolers, when/how the kids learn what they need to learn doesn't really matter. Plus, my younger kids spent their first few years as part of our family learning so much about the world that had nothing to do with academics and much more about adjusting to being in a new family/country and everything that this entailed. So when Lizzie decided that she wanted to work towards being at grade level, I didn't really have much to do with it - it was pretty much all her, working hard to be on academic par with her peers. And she's done it! Just one or two months ago, after a lot of hard and consistent work, she completed her grade 8 math, which was the last area she wanted to progress in.

In hindsight, given the decision we have recently made about Lizzie, I wonder if it was God who put in her the desire to work towards grade level. Because had she not worked at this, our decision for her now wouldn't even have been a consideration. We began in February/March to take a look at what might be best for her and, after a similar prayerful process for her, we ultimately made the decision that she will also attend school in fall. This marks another huge, upcoming change for our family. Lizzie will be attending the high school that I attended in my teens; it's a wonderful Christian school that is fairly academically focused and does a really good job of preparing kids for university, which we can see Lizzie being interested in a few short years from now. There are about fifty kids in the current grade 8 class moving into grade 9, and thirty additional kids have also signed up to come into the school for grade 9; so Lizzie will join at a time when many other kids will be new to the school. This was a significant factor for us in making the decision to enrol her. We could have continued to school Lizzie at home over the coming year, but grade 9 is such a big transition year that we ultimately decided that she might find her way a little more easily in a year when many other kids were starting at the school. What thrilled me about her upcoming class is the diversity represented in the kids joining; we sat in on a zoom school orientation session not long ago, with many of the thirty other new kids also participating, and at least a third of the kids were kids of colour. That was an important factor for me in considering the school that Lizzie would attend, and something that I had enquired about before even sending in her application; and it would seem that this need has been met. We're very thankful.

And finally, as he has done already this past academic year, my oldest will be attending grade 12 at a local school on a half-time basis. A year ago we made the decision to enrol Matt in a grade 11 class for a few subjects - notably Physics, Chemistry, and Pre-Cal. These courses were ones that I would have found difficult to teach, despite his aptitude for such courses, and so he attended school part-time in the 2020-2021 year to meet that need. This coming fall will see him taking four classes at the same school (Physics, Chem, Pre-Cal, and Law) three days per week. And on the other two days, he'll continue with other classes at home (Literature, Geography, Phys Ed, Guitar, Food & Nutrition). 

And so our lives are about to change significantly just a few short weeks from now. My role will become that of chauffeur, to/from three different high schools, as well as coach for much of Matt's at-home work two days/week. Suddenly I am a homeschooling parent of half of a kid, instead of three whole kids! That reality hasn't really sunk in for me, and I imagine that I will have some grieving to do this fall.

Geoff and I have decided that I am not going to make a lot of plans for myself over the coming academic year, even though on three days/week I will have about five hours of time to myself. We're going to let the year unfold and see what we need to do to adjust to having three kids attending school. We don't know what this transition is going to look like, or how hard it's going to be on the two younger kids (Matt has already had the past year to adjust to being in school part-time). In addition, I've really been struggling with my own emotional health since January, and need to change something up this fall to care for myself a little differently than previously. I am burned out. Really and truly burned out. I don't know what I need to do in order to recover, but I know it means doing something different. And so I'm going to be pretty low-key for those 15 hours/week I'll be on my own. I'm going to grieve, I might go for coffee once or twice/week with friends, I'm going to tackle some of the dozens of projects at home that have needed attention for a very long time, I'm going to pray about what God might have up next for me, and I'm going to take on my emotional and physical well-being. 

A year from now, when Matt graduates, I won't be a h/schooling mom at all any more, so this year will be a wonderful time of transition for me. I confess that I'm glad that I get to keep half of a kid home with me for one more year, and I'm really looking forward to that. In some ways it seems like we're coming 'round full circle - it was just Matt and me who started out h/schooling together way back in the beginning, before Seth and Lizzie joined the family; and now it's just Matt and me who will finish h/schooling together. One precious last year.

So.

There are lots of changes coming our way. I'm both anxious and excited to see the year roll out, and I'm increasingly pumped to see the kids take on new challenges. Homeschooling has been the best (and the hardest) thing I've ever done, and I have zero regrets about the decision we made years ago to school at home. Now it's time to change course a little and see this part of my own journey wind down over the coming year. I believe deep down that this is the best decision for each of the kids, that we've been responsive to how God has led us each year (including this one), and that these decisions come at a time in my own journey where I will benefit from the change. Lord willing.