A few weeks ago, desperate to find the satin sleep caps that Lizzie perpetually loses during the day (and believe me, she needs to sleep with one at night), I used a strategy that I've never used before: I offered to give $1.00 to the kid who found one/both of her caps.
Yes, I felt sheepish about offering a blatant bribe and yes, I felt guilt about it for a while afterwards; but that's not the point of this story.
The point is that the kids' responses to my bribe perfectly, perfectly, mirrored their personalities!
Matthew (team-oriented; not wanting anyone to win or lose; generous): "Awesome!! Let's all look together guys. Seth, Lizzie, let's walk together through the house and see if we can find it. I'm happy to share the dollar if we find it together."
Seth (driven to succeed on his own; determined; generous): "No way, man! I want to look by myself and I will find it first. I want de whole dollar. Mom, how many gum balls can I buy with my dollar when I find it? Matth, Lizzie, I'll buy you a gumball if I have enough money."
Lizzie (always just wanting physical contact and to be with someone): "Matthew, I'll look with you. I just want to hold someone's hand. Will you carry me?"