Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Nose Goop.

That's what we call snot around here.  For some inexplicable reason, I have always found the word 'snot' to be a rather crude word (kinda like the word 'fart'...but that's a story for another day); so a number of years ago Geoff, Matthew and I came up with a new term for it.  'Nose Goop' has remained the expression we use in our home.

What is far more offensive to me than the word itself, though, is what one does with the contents of one's nose.

Just over a year ago, shortly before the little kids came home, Matthew and I were driving about town on route to some errand or another when we were brought to a stop by a red light.  We were talking about nothing in particular when we both happened to look over at the driver of the car beside us.  Our chatter died away.

"Look, Mom," Matthew whispered at a barely-there pitch.

"I know," I responded, also in a hushed tone.

We were horrified, but equally fascinated by sight of a man pulling long, thick strings of stuff out of his nose.  He briefly examined each piece and then, horror of horrors, he ate them.  Slurped them right up like some long strands of spaghetti.  I gagged, loudly, and moments later heard Matthew gagging too.  Honestly, people it is just so gross.  Have a little sip of pee, too, while you're at it...wash it all down.

Two weeks ago, to my great dismay, this kind of despicable event happened in my very own home, courtesy of my middle child.  I don't know what prompted his behaviour because we're big into using tissue to rid ourselves of nose-clogging particles, and the kids are all three champion nose blowers.  But I stopped in my tracks one day when I saw Seth eating his nose goop.  I practically shrieked at him but all he did was turn around and calmly (and so very 'innocently') say "whaat? it tastes good."  Like, gag me with a spoon.

I reminded him of our tissue rule and he said that he would, in the future, use kleenex instead of his finger to rid himself of his goop; and he promised, promised, that he would not eat it again.  When I then caught him red-handed eating the stuff twice more over the next few days, he righteously denied having done it...though I guess I might, too, if I wanted to avoid being shrieked at by a crazy woman!

But I bested him at his own game!  Hah.  Just over a week ago, while we were all outside, I caught him eating his nose goop again.  But this time I was silent - I knew he'd just deny it again if I confronted him directly.  Instead, I hauled out my trusty camera and waited for the right opportunity.

When the moment finally came, I snapped away.  I put my camera down on my lap for a moment.  Then I told Seth not to put his finger in his nose and certainly not to eat it.  Predictably, he denied having done any such thing.

But that poor guy clearly did not know who he was contending with.  Because with a loud cry of "ahh hah!!" I brought my camera out of hiding and brandished it in his face with the proof in the pudding, so to speak.

Deny that, you little cretin.  (don't worry - this was said only in my mind.)

Seth took one look at the photo and said "that's gross - I won't do that again!!!"

And he hasn't...to my knowledge.  :)  Hip hip hooray.  Thus, I hope never, ever, ever to see this again in our household!!

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