...since I've posted. I can't believe how quickly the past week+ has gone, without me publishing a single post. How unlike me!
It's been a little crazy around here. I'm recovering from the bronchitis that I was hit with just after returning from our Christmas vacation (I'm still coughing quite a bit, but sooo much better), attempting (with mixed success) to get back into h/schooling with Matthew, immersing myself in two attachment-based parenting classes per week, starting an inner metamorphosis about how I want to raise and school Matthew (and hopefully another couple of kids), and making a fair bit of progress in getting ready for our upcoming trip. I feel a little - hmm, what're the words - in over my head.
One thing that has changed in the past couple of weeks is that my anxiety related to court has finally reduced...and the headaches which I've uncharacteristically been dealing with since we received news of our court date have correspondingly disappeared. It's funny that nothing has really changed objectively. I still feel insecure about our court date, and know that nothing's for sure at this point. I don't know what the outcome will be. But my anxiety about it is virtually gone.
To be frank, I think the difference has been prayer. I know that people are praying for us. Regardless of the outcome on February 11th, I think prayer is what has helped me to relax in the knowledge that nothing will happen before, on, or after that day that God won't have complete control over. The other thing that a dear friend reminded me of just this week is that our adoption plans were laid on my heart (I believe by God) so many years ago, and that God won't abandon us now...regardless of the outcome on February 11th. Maybe it sounds a little contradictory to suggest that I can be peaceful even in the face of uncertainty about February 11th. I know that not everyone will pass court. But despite my desperate desire to pass, and to bring our children home, I believe that God's got a plan for me, for my family...a plan that will unfold in good time. Whatever happens on February 11th.
I am so grateful for the prayers of those who are committed to deliberately and specifically involving themselves in our lives in this way. Others, too, have been so supportive of us in this time leading up to our departure. I have been blessed with dear friends who are, quite simply, unspeakably gracious and supportive.