Monday, December 31, 2018

Farewell to 2018

Another year has come to an end.  It's been a good year - busy, eventful, slow, fast, fun, hard. Good Bye 2018!

We are bringing the year to a quiet close this year.  Last year we spent it with dear friends, and part of me would like to repeat that experience.  But I have a sick kid at home and I'm tired at this year end - I've had a number of terrible sleeps lately, and I am craving routine and sleep.  So we'll keep this year end quiet.

For several years, I've tried to complete a series of questions to mark the year's end - it's a way of tracking events of the year just completed.  Here are my answers to the questions for 2018.

I wish you a happy and blessed New Year...each and every one.


1.  What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
I took the kids on a 6-week road trip.  Just me and the kids (though Geoff flew out and joined us for a week in the middle of the trip).  I drove through the Rocky Mountains (crossed that off of my bucket list!) and drove 8,765 km over the course of those six weeks.  It was an awesome adventure!


2.  Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I didn't really make any last year.

This year, rather than some strict resolutions, I have a few ideas about things I'd like to do differently, but I'm not making them absolutes because I'll undoubtedly fail if I make them so iron clad!


3.  Did anyone close to you die?
No.  Thankfully.  It was hard enough losing my beautiful sister-in-law towards the end of last year.


4.  Did you travel?  Did you visit other countries?  Where did you go?
Well, as a follow-up to #1, yes yes yes...I did travel this year...throughout western Canada. Our furthest point was the west coast of Vancouver Island, where we spent a week; our longest stops otherwise were Vancouver, Hornby Island, Calgary, and Edmonton. 

Other than that six-week adventure, the kids and I spent about four months at the cottage during the summer.

It was an awesome year for travel and adventure!


5.  What would you like to have in the coming year that you lacked in the year past?
Time.  I wish time would just slow down a little - the kids are getting so big and the weeks pass by so quickly.  Even though we are homeschoolers and spend 24/7 with our kids, I still want more time of it. 



6.  What date(s) from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
May 22 - the day the kids and I arrived home from our road trip.  I'd done it - accomplished this massive undertaking!  I felt proud of myself, sad to be finished the trip, relieved to be home, ready to go again.

May 24 - the day I began to eat plant-based.


7.  What was your biggest achievement of the year and why? or What things are you proud of?
Definitely the road trip...which seems to be the theme of the year, according to how I am answering these questions so far.  But it really was a huge undertaking and a huge achievement.  I researched the trip, prepared for it, packed for it, drove all 8,765 km of it, educated my children throughout, was brave during moments when I was scared, took some chances which turned out to be highlights, and so on.  I was able to cross a few things off of my life's bucket list, and I was/am proud of myself for just going ahead and doing it and creating memories for/with all of us.

The other thing that's been a huge accomplishment for me was turning upside down the way we eat in our family. We eat a 98%+ plant-based diet now, and it was a monumental effort on my part to make this change, figure out how to do it, and implement it.  We've been at this since June, so over half of my year has been dedicated to making this massive change.  I'm proud of myself for undertaking this.


8.  What was your biggest failure of the year and why?
Sigh.  My biggest failure of the year is the same as last year's biggest failure: I have barely touched any of my year's intended organizational tasks.  Granted, between our road trip and our months at the cottage, I was actually away from home for 5.5 months of the year (wow!) but I haven't really done any of my big projects since settling back into routine in fall.  And the house needed it last year already!!  Can you guess what kind of new year's resolutions I might be making??


9.  Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, no.  We have all been injury free this year.  I haven't even been sick since starting the plant-based eating plan.  I'm sure it's just a matter of time, but this has been a great year for lack of illness or injury in our household.


10.  What was the best/biggest/most novel thing you bought?
Huh.  Well, certainly the biggest single chunk of money that we spent was on the spring road trip...nothing cheap about that.

It's also expensive to do the upkeep on the cottage - in addition to mortgage payments, there are always things in need of repair or replacing (just like in a city home); and it's not inexpensive having guests at the cottage (food, gas for the boat, bedding, etc).

Other than that, I think that the ice fishing equipment that we've picked up over the past year has comprised the most significant purchases we've made: A large ice-fishing tent; and a gas powered ice auger.


11.  Whose behaviour merited celebration/recognition?
There are a few people I call out on this front - all of whom have navigated difficult circumstances this year and who have done so with grace and steadfastness.

I have a friend, D, who is married to my friend, P.  P is a pastor, and he lost his job in 2017, under difficult circumstances.  I have watched how they have handled what happened to him, and have been so moved and inspired by the grace and forgiveness and strength which has marked their journey.  I have watched how they continued to parent their children very wisely in the midst of challenging circumstances, and have seen them always looking heavenward for assurance and care.  They have modelled faith and grace for their children, and for those of us watching from the outside.  I admire them for this, and respect them greatly.  When I think of who merits recognition this year, I think of D and P, and how they have navigated this part of their life's journey.  P has recently found another pastoral job, and I couldn't be happier for both of my friends, and their children.

Another person I take my hat off to this year is my oldest friend, J.  She lost her mother to cancer this fall and, in anticipation of this, J took an unpaid, six week leave from work to be with her parents and to help her Mom die.  She was the rock in her family during that so-difficult time.  I cannot express how much I respect and admire how well she handled herself, how much I have learned from her authenticity and her grieving process.  The wisdom and care and intentionality (is that a word?) that she displayed during and since that difficult time has been nothing short of remarkable.  I have loved and admired her for many years; and only feel those things more deeply having watched her be her best self when rubber hit the road.


12.  Whose behaviour made you appalled and/or depressed?
Well, this has been the year of the me-too movement, where numerous women have come forward to protest against men (many of them celebrities or in positions of power) who have engaged in sexual harassment or sexual assault.  It all seemed to begin with the accusations against Harvey Weinstein, and it snowballed from there.  The behaviour of these men, and the men I have known who have caused me to say 'me too' in my heart of hearts, has truly appalled me and sometimes caused me great despair...that we have moved/changed so little after so many generations.


13.  Where did most of your money go?
Easy question.  Road trip.  Cottage.  Feeding my endlessly hungry children.


14.  What did you get really, really excited about?
Well, at risk of being really repetitive, it was the road trip this year that I looked forward to with huge anticipation...and a little terror.  I kinda got excited just about being so brave, too!



15.  What song(s) did you enjoy this year?
The worship music of Colton Dixon, whom Matthew and I got to see perform live at an outdoor concert in southern Manitoba in August - which marked Dixon's first time performing in Canada.  I love his music and often feel both moved and inspired by it.

Some of the other artists on my playlists these days include: Lauren Daigle; Toni Braxton; TobyMac; George Ezra; NF; Hillsong; Imagine Dragons; Sia; Twenty One Pilots; Pink; a little Bruno Mars; Cold Play; and a bunch of others.

Matt and I, along with two friends, went to an NF concert in March of this year, and I loved it.  I am a big fan of NF's lyrics and style, and we listened to a lot of NF while cruising down the highway on our road trip in spring (oh my goodness, major road trip flashback to the afternoon the kids and I were barrelling along the seaside highway north of Nanaimo towards the ferry terminal that we would take to Hornby Island - it was pouring rain outside and we were singing at the top of our lungs to NF's depressing Therapy Session, trying to drown out the thundering sounds of the rain pelting against our windshield)! 

I love, love, love music, and I find inspiration in much of it.  Just a few weeks ago, Seth found for me the tiny adaptor that enables me to plug my old ear buds into my iPhone so that I can listen to music on Spotify or iTunes.  That first evening after he'd found my adaptor, I sat in our library for about 2-3 hours, just listening to the music that I love, and actually being moved to tears with the sheer joy of that beauty. (I think the kids thought I was a little cuckoo!)  And now at Christmas, Geoff bought me wireless, noise-cancelling headphones which provide an even better quality of listening; I am in heaven when I can sneak off to my favourite chair in the library, close my eyes, and fully engage in the music of all sorts that I love. Little else moves me as deeply.


16.  Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?  Happier.  Last year was such a sad year all 'round, with the illness and death of my SIL.  I still feel all of those feelings, but also other things.  I have found this year that I am growing in my ability to simply be myself....bringing closer together the person I am to the outside world and the person I am on the inside.  There's something about getting a bit older that makes one just a little freer, somehow, to just be oneself with a greater degree of confidence.  And I like that feeling...and am getting better at it.  I hold things a little more loosely than I have before, feel less judgmental in general, and am more prepared to do what it takes to make things right where needed.



ii. thinner or fatter?  A little thinner, thanks to giving up meat products.  I thought I'd lose more weight as a result, to be honest.  But I'm grateful for even the few pounds that I shed this year.  


iii. richer or poorer? Poorer.  Geoff has a good job and a good income, for which I am very thankful.  But even then, sometimes, it feels hard to make ends meet.  Of course, we have made choices that have sapped our finances (cottage, the road trip, riding lessons for the kids) and I understand that we have made decisions that contribute to the 'poorer' feeling. We are so not poor; it's just interesting to me that we can sometimes (ashamedly) feel that way despite Geoff having a good job.



17.  What do you wish you'd done more of?
I simply can't think of anything here...and I don't want to procrastinate the finishing of this questionnaire so I think I'll leave this one.  :)



18.  What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I'd watched less Netflix at night...it's such a sleep and energy sucker.  I don't watch every night, but a couple of times/week after the kids go to bed, when it's time for me to hit the hay.  When I do watch, I stay up too late and am tired the next day as a result.  I regret those hours.


19.  How did you spend Christmas Day?
We five spent the morning together, opening gifts and eating breakfast (monkey bread and fruit).  In the afternoon, we headed to my parents' home, along with my sister's family and a couple of family friends.  There we ate dinner together, opened a few more gifts, and visited.  It was a lovely day.  Of note, while the rest of the extended family ate a turkey dinner ordered in from a local hotel, Geoff and I enjoyed an entirely vegan meal that I prepared...and it was delicious!! I was proud of myself for getting through our first vegan Christmas intact, and satisfied with wonderful things to eat.



20.  What was your favourite tv program(s) in 2018?
- Kim's Convenience
- Anne (of Green Gables)...season 1
- Schitt's Creek...seasons 1 & 2
- Better Call Saul


21.  What's the best book you read this year?
Maybe The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak?  A number of vegan cookbooks that I have come to love? I can't actually think of a specific one!


22.  What did you want and get?
Headphones - wireless, noise cancelling.  I didn't even know I wanted these until Christmas Day when I received them.  Now I think it was the thing I wanted the most.  How good of Geoff to know what I really wanted, even before I did.  :)


23.  What did you want and not get?
- I have enough of everything.  More than enough. 


24.  What was your favourite film?
I can't even remember if I saw a single film in theatres this year - which is too bad, because I do love the big screen.  I'm sure I saw a couple, but nothing stands out to me.

Certainly watching the Netflix documentary Forks Over Knives, had a huge impact on me...it was a main source of information for Geoff and me when we made the decision to move towards a plant-based diet. So it was undoubtedly one of the most impactful things I watched this year.


25.  What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I turned 52 this year.  The kids and I were in the city on my birthday (I can't remember why we came home from the cottage); Geoff was out of town on business and so the kids and I were on our own together.  The next day, when he was home again, we went out for dinner with my dad and mom...and we celebrated my mom's birthday that day, too.


26.  What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
Likely just a little more weight loss.



27.  How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
I discovered leggings this year (I know I'm about a decade behind)...full length and capri.  I've always thought that these aren't the best fashion choice for larger women, but I actually think they look good on me...with a longer shirt or sweater overtop.  That's my fashion statement this year.  I'm wearing some right now as I write this!



28.  What kept you sane?
In no particular order:  Friends; God; Geoff; being comfortable in my own skin; occasionally having a couple of hours to myself; my dogs (both of whom are with me as I write this).


29.  Which celebrity/public figure did you admire/fancy the most?
Hmmm....not sure that I admire or fancy her, precisely, but I certainly watched more of Meghan Markle than I've ever watched in the past.  I have a secret fondness for all things royal, and I loved watching the latest royal wedding in spring. 



30.  Who was the best new person you met?  Who did you meet for the first time?
Well, I'd been wanting to meet Cindy for quite a long time! She and I became online/email friends through the world of adoption and I've wanted to meet her for quite a while.  She lives in the Greater Vancouver area, and I've visited that area numerous times since we've been chatting.  But generally when I fly in to Vancouver, it's for a relatively short period of time and my hours are consumed by other things (my brother and nephews, mostly).  But when the kids and I went on our road trip and spent 10-11 days in Vancouver with my brother, I suddenly had the ability to branch out just a little.  And so Cindy and I met for a few lovely hours over coffee (well, actually, appies) one evening and had a chance to put faces to names...and talk at a heart-to-heart level that's hard to come by when a relationship is via online/email.  That was lovely!

Sharon is someone I met this fall through our church, and she has become a voice of candour and wisdom as it concerns one of our kids; I'm grateful to have met her and to have her in our lives moving forward.

Theresa is a homeschooling mom I've been wanting to get to know for some time.  I first heard about her a few years ago when a mutual friend tried to connect us via email.  Other mutual friends have talked about her many times since.  She lives just minutes from me, and yet it's only been this year that I've had the privilege of meeting her and getting to know her.  She is teaching the English Lit class that my oldest is taking along with a few other homeschooled high schoolers, and she's had a significant impact on both him and me this fall. She is someone of tremendous discipline and organization and faith, and I think I will be learning as much from her as my Matthew is!

There have surely been other wonderful people I have met this year for the first time; but these are the three that first jump to mind.


31.  Who did you miss?
Cathy.  Definitely Cathy.  My SIL.  It's been 15 months since we lost her and I miss her laugh.  Her smile.  The way she looked at life.  The way she had with people...with me.


32.  Any other highlights / lowlights of the year not already discussed?
Road trip.  Cottage.  Planning a surprise 13th birthday party for Seth. 


33.  What valuable lesson(s) did you learn in 2018?
It's not a new lesson, to be sure, but it's become important to me that I am/become who God created me to be; that my husband and children become who God created them to be.  We can't be anyone other than who we are, so I want us to become who we are meant to be, in Christ.  We don't know how much time we have on earth, so I want to make the most of it.



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