Monday, September 26, 2011

What is it about Boys??

As I write these words, the boys are in the bathroom watching each other do their business in the toilet.  They are laughing hysterically as they examine every item that exits the other boy's body, and groan with joy over every new smell or sound that is emitted.

While sitting on their parents' laps, the boys feel completely free to 'let one loose,' and the accompanying sensations and smells are truly the delight of the boys.

We struggle at every mealtime with the emissions exiting both upper and lower ends of their bodies, and try in vain to stifle the guffaws and shrieks of laughter that accompany each sound.  Just getting them to say "excuse me" on a consistent basis seems an insurmountable task.  Should I really have to remind them every time?

And what is it with boys needing to constantly put their hands down their pants?  Do they really think that a particular body part has gone missing since the last time they checked twenty seconds ago?

The more we attempt to 'deal' with these behaviours, the more fun we seem to create for them.  It's a rather perplexing situation.

In my twenties, I really thought that if you raised boys and girls the same way, there would be few discernible differences between them.  Boys could sit quietly and play with dolls; girls could be interested in power tools and dump trucks.  You get the idea.  But I was least when it comes to my boys.  They're stereotypical.  Cavemen at times.  Though I'm sure there are girls out there who are similarly interested, I certainly seemed to have two bodily-funtion-obsessed boys in my household.

If it's true that the average person emits somewhere between 0.5 litre and 1.5 litres of gaseous substances every day, and if it's true that some people bring down that average by expelling only a small amount, I'm willing to bet (as I listen again to a chorus of noises and laughter coming from the bathroom) that I know who's pulling that average up.


  1. I kind of laugh at your description of yourself in younger years because I was the same way. When my first son was born, I gave him dolls (which he used to hit other kids with) and trucks (which even before he could speak, he could make the right noises for)! I refused to get him toy guns and so he made them out of sticks and Lego and Knex. My second son was much the same way (and it goes without saying that the whole bodily functions thing was crazy funny to them too)! Then along came a girl. I handed her a doll when she was still a baby and she rocked the doll! What?! I finally had to admit that there may be something to the gender roles thing!

  2. You mean that that's not normal? Guess I'm going to have to inform the boys of my family. I think we may also be bringing the average up :)

  3. You made me laugh out loud! I too gave my girls dump trucks, determined that I would not push them into gender stereotypes. Those trucks are tenderly lined with blankets and used as doll cradles. I agree that some gender differences must just be inate. (Thankfully we are getting over the EVERY ITEM of clothing must be pink stage!)

  4. So so true. I sorta think "let them be boys", so the deal is they can let 'em rip, but they just have to point their butts in an unoccupied area (preferably the garage). They come back laughing like hyenas, and daring each other to go & brave the smell. (M daughter seems to be very boyish in this type of behaviour). Plus they think it's hysterical to get up & go to another's better than an announcement. And if you hung out here for long, you'd hear "Get your hand out of your pants" or "Quit clutching yourself!". My husband says it's a boy thing, and he'll grow out of it. In the meantime, I'm thinking about jumping jacks as a good cure. If he's busy flnging his arms around doing the j.j.'s, then he can't be making sure all the parts are there. ;)

  5. I taught first grade and I had to say at least twice a day
    "Hands on your desk!"

  6. Boys will be boys... and while my son is also emitting green gaseous toxins, my daughter can play a mean string of armpit farts while in a princess dress. It's quite the scene! lol. Lizzie will catch on and find her own way to join the boy scene - just wait!! ;)