Only two kids are awake yet and it's been too hard already. Not even 8 am and I'm snapping at the ones who are awake. I feel utterly unable to deal with Seth's language and alpha issues today, and impatient with Lizzie's usual drama. Matthew's not awake yet so I don't know what he's going to present that I won't want to handle.
It's interesting how all of the developmental work I'm striving to embrace and model goes down the toilet in just an hour of hard starts; I've had to hide myself in the bathroom for a few minutes just to collect myself, regain my equilibrium, and put back on the parenting hat that I shelved earlier.
I don't mean to dump on Geoff here, but honestly, there are days.... Since early January he's been immersed in one of his annual busy seasons at work and has been gone for days/nights at a time most weeks since then. He was good enough to plan for me to go on a silent retreat a few weeks ago, to give me a 24 hour break in the midst of it all, but I'm afraid that's not been enough to sustain either my energy and patience. In addition, last Thursday evening, when he made sure to be home so that I could enjoy my usual night out (he is trying), I decided not to go out because the kids really wanted (and needed, to be honest) to be with all of us at home together. Added to which this week is Reading Week at the universities around here, which means that our gym and skating programs were cancelled this week...which means I haven't even had that usual hour to to unwind and drink a cup of tea. It's been two full weeks since I've had even an hour to myself - including at night time, since when Geoff's away, one of the kids is usually in bed with me....talking until they fall asleep and then kicking until morning.
None of this makes for a good start and sometimes it's just the straw that breaks the camel's back. I wish the day were already over.
Sadly, I have no one to whine to at this early-ish hour of the morning and so you, dear reader, are now also the recipient of my foul temper.
It'll be better soon...I'm not one to linger in this state. I'll take a few deep breaths and know that God has heard my prayer and will provide what I can't today. But it's good to vent just a little. Thanks for listening.
Turn on the Olympics!!! Or - Physical activity & LOTS of it. In the park, in the yard. Stairs, laps, whatever. Designed to wear a body out. Thinly disguised as a contest with silly little prizes for all. (I use coupons - movie night, night out with Dad (ha ha), special dinner of one's choosing, etc.) It's designed to give a Mom some extra time in the evening for that treasured time alone. Works for me. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks C...and I had a few similar ideas. We watched the last hour of the women's curling-for-gold olympic match and I just shipped the kids outside for a while.
DeleteI'm doing a little better, but I really don't like these kinds of days - mostly, frankly, it's ME that I don't like so much on these kinds of days.
You did give me another great idea, though. Geoff's home tomorrow night, so I think I'm simply going to announce (to him first) that it's dinner out for all of the kids with Dad tomorrow night...and maybe a round of indoor mini golf to follow. That ought to give me 2 or 2.5 hours at home alone.
Thanks for the boost, C...it is needed.
Ruth
Oh Ruth, we all have those days. I usually announce to the world that I'm not having a great day (as if they can't tell *smirk*) and just get it out in the open. And we deal with it. As we do when someone else is having one of those days. Give the kids a chance to exercise their gifts of mercy & compassion. Part of life, you know? Take what you need to work through it, and everyone will live. If you liked yourself on these kinds of days, then you should be worried. ;) Anyhows, praying for you. Should've said that the first time - it's the most important part.
ReplyDeleteThanks C...most especially for your prayers.
DeleteHugs,
R
All I can say is I understand. I definitely understand.
ReplyDeleteEllen
Thanks for the commiseration, Ellen (is that the right way to use that word?)...I have no doubt you can relate!
DeleteHugs coming your way,
Ruth
Well Ruth, I am sorry to hear that you had a rocky start today. I'm delighted that you chose to share it though. You amaze me so much with all that you handle and subsequently achieve. I'll spare you and keep this comment brief. I wish you an easier start to tomorrow and the strength to work through the challenges that will arise with a bit more peace!
ReplyDelete-Charity
Thanks Charity...you are very kind. This morning is looking a wee bit better and I'm grateful.
DeleteHugs,
Ruth
Oh Ruth I totally get it. Since moving to Toronto Doug works all hours and weekend. There have been nights until 4 am even. It gets draining for sure. When he is home Oz acts out which is understandable but doesn't help. I get it 110%. My biggest tip (or that works for me) is putting on happy music or I watch I love Lucy while making dinner. It's family friendly enough I don't mind Oz overhearing and I feel like I have friends visiting. Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessa, and lovely to hear from you!
DeleteI'd never thought of I love Lucy - that's funny!
What's helped me so much is this weekend. It's a little embarrassing, but it's now early Sunday evening and I'm still in the same PJs that I was wearing when I woke up...yesterday morning! I can't believe I just admitted that and I don't think it's ever happened before, but I've literally been in jammies allll weekend. I probably stink, too. For the first time in forever we had nothing up yesterday; and Matt and I stayed home from church this morning to watch the Olympic closing ceremonies; and so I've not even left the house...or gotten dressed. I did wash my face and brush my teeth this morning but thankfully, no one popped over today!! I really didn't WANT friends visiting today!
ANyway, thanks for the thoughts and the hugs, and I'm sending them back your way now!
Blessings,
Ruth