If you've been following my blog for any length of time, you'll know that I am not a believer in promoting the santa myth within my own home. In fact, even if you haven't been reading my blog for a while, you might already get about me (given that recent post I did about the elf on the shelf) that I'm not a proponent of spreading deliberately-chosen lies to my children while simultaneously reverting to the behaviouralistic kind of parenting that I so can't stomach ('better behave kids, otherwise you're getting a lump of coal this year,' etc etc). I feel about the santa myth the way I feel about that elf on the shelf I recently dissed. Shudder.
That's not to say his name doesn't enter our household around this time of year. We read things like 'Twas the Night before Christmas and various other stories that assume santa's existence...but they've always been, and will always be, stories that are fun to read around Christmas, just like The Nutcracker or Polar Express.
I came across this post on f/book recently and thought it suited my views on the subject of Santa perfectly...so why bother ranting and raving about it any more when I can just direct folks here to discover my views!!
Who Needs Santa?
Yeah, I've been struggling with this since having kids. I loved the Santa theme as a kid - hearing bells jingling mysteriously after going to bed in my grandparents' farmhouse, leaving treats and Pepsi out at our house, and finding them gone in the morning. But I really don't know if/when I really believed it was all true - but it was great fun (and I knew my Dad was the Pepsi fan in the family).
ReplyDeleteI am happy for my kids to enjoy the same kind of fun (I think...but my views may change someday), BUT I really have a problem with them actually believing it is TRUE. The added complexity is that my boys were nearly 3 and 4 when they joined our family - previously they had enjoyed everything Santa, and still have this idea that Santa actually brings them presents (even though I constantly remind them who gave them each lovingly-chosen gift they received). I have even made comments or responded to Santa questions with comments like, "Well, the pretend story of Santa..." and they aren't catching on. I have also asked them a number of times whether they think Santa is real, and what makes them think that (and of course, in their minds, all of the "evidence" supercedes the impossibilities and inconsistencies). Our eldest keeps using his math and physics mind to figure out how Santa actually enters the house, and is starting to see differences between some of the "Santas" around town at this time of year.
With adoption stuff mixed in, and wanting them to (hopefully) come to a realization on their own (because, yeah, I can be a bit of a downer with the reality stuff sometimes...was hoping not to be the source of their disappointment on this issue), I haven't gone much further than hints and evasive answers and simply trying not to play up Santa directly (although I do have a Father Christmas collection, so "he" is definitely around).
Still haven't figured out what to do about it. Which means that one of these days I will likely erupt with a tirade of unvarnished truth-telling when they once again give Santa all the credit for their gifts or ask me some impossible Santa question that I can't answer without ignoring, lying, or telling it like it is.
That IS complicated Joh, and particularly so because your boys joined your family already exposed to Santa - that's delicate and complicated! And I totally agree that there's a difference between seeing Santa as a fun story and seeing santa as TRUE - that's a great distinction and one that's troubled me.
DeleteAnyway, Joh, thanks so much for your comment, and for sharing your thoughts...and I have to say that I laughed when I read that, rather than milk, you left PEPSI for Santa when you were a kid!!
Blessings,
Ruth