When Geoff and I became plant-based eaters, it wasn't for animal rights reasons...it was because we thought it was a healthier way to eat. I had never previously thought about never again eating meat; I'd never previously thought about eating a plant-based diet. But here we are. Over the past six months, as we've gradually become accustomed to eating differently, I've also become a little more aware of other valid reasons for not eating meat...mainly, the killing of animals and the environmental impact caused by methane-gas-producing animals.
I want to be clear that I am in no way close to living a consistently plant-based existence. There are many inconsistencies in my life, a few of which I will outline here:
* I still have leather goods at home (purses, shoes), which I think would be wasteful to throw out before they are fully used up. Also, I occasionally wear an older synthetic jacket and have wondered, from time to time, if it has down in it - and, even if it does have down in it, does that knowledge mean that I should discard the jacket, or continue wearing it until I am ready to purchase something else?
* My grandfather was a big game hunter when I was a child, and we have some of his exotic trophies in our home and cottage (zebra and bison rugs, deer antler and boar tusks, a hippo foot).
* One of my sons, who is neither vegan nor plant-based, is a fisher and wanna-be hunter, and we want to support as much as we can (and as much as we can stomach) this deeply held passion of his, even while wishing desperately that he find a different pursuit. I don't control his choices and passions, but I can educate him as well as I am able so that his choices are at least informed. This approach is troublesome to me, but it's where I'm at.
* My dogs eat raw meat/bone/organs, along with their fruits and veggies. It's difficult to get dogs onto a vegan diet, although it is something I intend to look into in the new year.
* I occasionally eat dairy cheese, as I am finding it difficult to give it up entirely, though I hope to make a complete break eventually.
So I am admittedly and somewhat-ashamedly hypocritical, all while trying to make small, every day changes to continue to move in a direction all the more consistent with the plant-based life I aspire to. I am sharing this with you because it is part of the journey that I am on, and I'm trying to figure it all out.
Recently, my own reaction to something took me completely by surprise, and made me realize that I really am processing these issues differently than I ever have before. I was on Instagram, scrolling through pictures, and came across a picture posted by an acquaintance. It was a picture of a jacket she'd just purchased - a very expensive, Canadian made jacket, filled with duck down and trimmed with real fox fur. Whereas I likely wouldn't have thought twice about this six months ago, I had such a strong, visceral reaction to that picture that I almost vomited. Truly. I'm not exaggerating. I totally shocked myself. What was coursing through my mind were questions, over and over, on repeat: How many farmed foxes had to die in order to trim that one jacket and create those beautiful pom poms (very horrible deaths, btw, after being ill-treated during their lives...the company has been called out on these issues before, I have learned)? How many ducks had to live in terrible conditions and ill health, only to die so that a person can have a jacket stuffed full of the softest, fluffiest down (something that the company's website talks about)?
The answers to these questions make me feel ill. Genuinely, physically ill. There is something terribly wrong with this picture. I could barely continue with my bit of research into how the animals used by this very company live and die - I just felt sicker and sicker and began to cry. This goes well beyond eating meat; it is purely for vanity's sake that those animals die - and yes, I get that animal fur is super warm (my mother had a fur coat when I was younger...I heard all about the warmth)...but there are alternatives.
These thoughts, this turbulence, is so new to me. I don't know what to do about it. Am I to become an animal activist? I don't really want to...there are already so many things that I am an advocate for. Do I say something to this acquaintance, clearly so pleased with her purchase of this jacket? It's not my right to try to impose my will on someone else....and if it were my right, what do I do about my own son's interest in hunting and fishing? I'm up at night thinking about these questions.
I don't know the answers to any of these questions and I find myself frustrated...with myself and with a society that I think has some odd values. Of all of the issues I've grappled with in my life, these are very new and surprising to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment