Yesterday, just a few months after her former husband was convicted and sentenced for his crime, Sue Hayhow, former CEO of Imagine Adoption, was found guilty on one criminal count of fraud (of approximately $47,000). This was not a trial result; she pled guilty. At least we won't have to wait for the trial this summer.
The original allegations were that she and her former husband defrauded the agency of over $420,000. But we families have known for years that criminal fraud charges are very hard to prove, given the trails of money that must be followed. Part of me just feels glad that she was never given the chance to be acquitted of her crimes, and glad that, despite the ridiculously and inappropriately light sentence that she received, at least she walks away with a criminal record that will stay with her for the rest of her life.
Despite the fact that I forgave her long ago, I admit that I've had to regularly and consciously remind myself of this choice over the past several years, even after bringing Seth and Lizzie into our family. It's hard not to slide into bitterness, at least in moments when memories come flooding back of the pain of those days when we thought our dreams of adopting were over, as a result of Sue and Rick Hayhow's actions. It's hard knowing that her actions resulted in a delay or complete stop to so many families' adoption dreams. It's hard thinking of the kids who were abandoned and near starvation levels in the agency's transition house in Ethiopia during those bankruptcy days. It's hard knowing how she affected the livelihoods of staff in Ethiopia (some of whom stayed on without pay for months and fed children out of their own pockets in the time surrounding the bankruptcy). And it's hard knowing that some kids adopted during those dark days of transition still suffer residual effects of her actions. In the end, after the Trustee in Bankruptcy was able to patch the agency back together for a time (with further investment from families), many families were eventually able to adopt children; but many families had to discontinue their dreams of family because they simply had no more money to invest; and there are still some families who are waiting for their referrals because of the mess that Sue Hayhow created!
Her sentence is inconceivably light (2 year conditional sentence, including 6 months' house arrest and 18 moths with a curfew, followed by 2 years' probation, and an order to pay restitution in the amount of $20,000) but, regardless of the appropriateness of the sentence, it is done. And at least Sue Hayhow had to read/hear many victim impact statements that affected families wrote in time for her sentencing yesterday.
One of the hardest thing about this whole period of time is that we affected families have never heard from her on the matter. Not a word, other than reports of a few miscellaneous people over the years who have declared her to be unrepentant. Many of us went with Imagine Adoption to pursue our adoption dreams because of Sue Hayhow - she proclaimed to be a Christian, espoused a 'total' love approach to children in Ethiopia, was occasionally even to be seen on tv and lauded for her approach to adoption, and was by all appearances totally genuine and trustworthy. We all believed in her until that fateful day on July 13, 2009 when we learned of the bankruptcy and allegations of fraud. And yet we've never heard from her in response to any of the proceedings since. I get that for legal reasons she may not have been able to say much, but that doesn't change the fact that emotionally it's been hard never to hear a word from her. Is it too much to ask for an apology? Too much to acknowledge that she's done wrong and that she hurt people and, for some, ruined forever their chance to have a family? I guess it is too much to expect, and I chose/choose to forgive without this...but the heart longs for it anyway. I'd really hoped that she might say something in court yesterday before her sentence was read out. Apparently she was crying too hard when asked by the judge if she wanted to say anything before he passed sentence; but that honestly just feels like an excuse not to have to apologize.
Anyway...
In case you're short on details of what happened back in July of 2009, here's a link to a good summary article that came out from journalist Brian Caldwell of Kitchener/Waterloo The Record about eight months after the agency was put into bankruptcy: Payments to Ethiopia Soared. I've also included the full article at the bottom of this blog post in case you'd rather read it here.
I've read a number of articles and watched several video clips of the final court processing of this situation yesterday. I find at least a few things worthy of note:
- Sue Hayhow's own children won't even make contact with her because they believe what the media has announced over the years about the misappropriation of funds...I wish this could somehow have been brought out in court, though the absence of support letters from them at her sentencing yesterday speaks volumes. Interestingly, these same daughters offered letters of support for their father when he was sentenced a few months ago. It makes me wonder what really went on behind closed doors that we never heard about - it strikes me as entirely possible that someone who defrauded the agency would also likely manifest additional issues in private. I feel badly for Hayhow's daughters - they, like other victims of Sue Hayhow, have had to endure much and one cost to them has been the loss of a mother's involvement in their lives.
- It is noted in one video clip with Hayhow's lawyer (wow, it's hard to listen to him talk about all that she has endured!) that she offered to repay the monies owing. What is interesting (but not reported) is that Imagine Adoption's Trustee in Bankruptcy reported to affected families/creditors that Sue Hayhow had made this offer publicly, to repay the funds. When the Trustee heard her public offer to repay, they immediately prepared and sent to her a full accounting of the money missing from the agency's coffers (which they said was used to pay for her kitchen renovation, vacations, a new fence, a horse and saddle for a daughter, clothing, spa treatments, etc etc etc etc). And, well, that was it - the end of her offer - she (obviously) never followed through on her apparent willingness to repay the funds.
- One article mentioned that she no longer has any money. Even though they had a beautiful house (renovations of which were paid for by agency/family funds), I'm guessing that divorce and legal fees have consumed many of the proceeds she would have realized from its sale (well over $400,000 several years ago). I find it ironic that she is now short on funds, given that she and her former husband earned a whopping $325,000+ salary from the agency and given that it is misuse of money and lavish spending on agency dime that got her into trouble in the first place. Many families believe that she hid away a chunk of money in bank accounts in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, amassed during the days when large sums of money (up to $70,000/month!) were apparently being channelled from the agency's accounts in Canada to accounts somewhere in Ethiopia (which Canadian criminal fraud investigators were unable to access).
- Andrew Morrow. Former Imagine Adoption board member; co-worker of Sue's in a separate organization that was doing charity work in Ethiopia; the person with whom she had an affair while she was married to Rick Hayhow, during the year before the bankruptcy; current husband of Sue Hayhow...in fact, her legal name is now, I believe, something like Susanne Morrow. I have often wondered about Andrew Morrow's perspective on the situation. He married her in the years since the bankruptcy, despite the mess she'd gotten herself into. He knew her during the days when she was misappropriating funds. Did he know, approve, what was going on with her or the agency or her then-husband? How does he support her, given the givens? What might they talk about over the course of the past five years as they considered the anxiety of being under criminal investigation and, eventually arrested and charged with criminal behaviour? How could he maintain faith in her enough to marry her, when even her own children don't believe her? I have wondered if he was in court with her yesterday but I haven't been able to find any information on that yet.
And on that note, I must end this saga. I am including below a few articles and links about the situation, in case anyone wants to read further or watch a few video clips. For my part, it is now done. It needs to be done. It needs to be time to move on.
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From Kitchener Waterloo's The Record, here is the link for the article that I've copied over in full below: Imagine Adoption's Former Executive Director Gets House Arrest for Fraud
Imagine Adoption’s former executive director gets house arrest for fraud
4 hours ago | By Gordon Paul
Susan Hayhow | Mathew McCarthy,News services
KITCHENER — It was a case that included marital infidelity and allegations of fraudulent use of a corporate credit card to pay for cosmetic surgery, trips, clothes and even a horse.
All this involving officials with a non-profit, Christian international adoption agency based in Cambridge that went bankrupt, dashing the hopes of hundreds of families across Canada. The criminal case ended Monday with no fireworks as Susan Hayhow, the former executive director of Imagine Adoption, quietly pleaded guilty to fraud in a no-jail deal.
Hayhow, 49, the founder and "leader," according to Justice Andrew Goodman, was sentenced to house arrest when the judge agreed to a joint submission from the prosecution and defence after Hayhow pleaded guilty to one count of fraud over $5,000.
She will serve six months of house arrest followed by 18 months with a nightly curfew — the same sentence Rick Hayhow received in February after pleading guilty to the same charge. Rick Hayhow, 50, was the chief financial officer of Imagine Adoption and was married to Susan Hayhow.
The case dates back to the summer of 2009. About 400 families across Canada were at various stage of the costly adoption process when the non-profit Christian agency, started by Susan Hayhow as a one-person operation, went into bankruptcy.
Imagine Adoption, which primarily arranged adoptions of orphans from Ethiopia, collapsed amid a scandal involving personal expenses — including trips, clothes, cosmetic surgery and a horse — charged to corporate credit cards.
Problems came to light after Susan Hayhow had an affair with a married employee and board member, Andrew Morrow, whom she later married.
Then, following an 18-month investigation, police jointly charged the Hayhows with breach of trust, six counts of fraud over $5,000 and three counts of fraud under $5,000. Each faced an individual count of fraud under $5,000.
The original charges against the former couple alleged about $300,000 in misspending in the two and a half years before the agency failed. The former couple's combined income while at the helm of Imagine Adoption was about $320,000 a year, plus the use of two leased luxury vehicles.
In the end, all the charges except one count of fraud against each were dropped. Rick Hayhow acknowledged $87,000 in personal charges on a corporate credit card. Susan Hayhow admitted to $46,000.
Susan Hayhow was ordered to pay back $20,000. Rick Hayhow must pay back $15,000.
The no-jail sentences for the two Hayhows reflected weaknesses in the prosecution's case that came to light during an aborted trial of the two last summer. Worried it may not have enough evidence to convict, the prosecution accepted guilty pleas with house-arrest sentences.
Determining the moment Susan Hayhow's conduct went from honest to dishonest "is a difficult question," Crown prosecutor David Foulds said Monday.
Her defence lawyer, Philip Norton, made it clear that Hayhow is not guilty of breach of trust and Imagine Adoption wasn't a "sham" agency. According to an agreed statement of facts, misuse of funds was not the sole cause of Imagine Adoption's financial troubles.
The Hayhows were allowed to use corporate credit cards for personal expenses, as long as those expenses were paid back, Norton said, adding that she relied on Rick Hayhow to do that but he didn't.
"She offered to pay back the money long before she was charged," Norton said. She didn't end up paying it back due to a dispute over how much she owed.
Foulds, reading from the statement of facts, said Hayhow acknowledges she had a personal responsibility to ensure she paid off her personal expenses.
He said the Hayhows started Imagine Adoption with good intentions.
"There was no scheme here," Norton said. "There was no coverup."
He painted Susan Hayhow as a victim of years of media coverage that "maligned" her.
"It destroyed her reputation," he said.
Norton said Hayhow hasn't worked for 18 months because of the publicity from the case.
He said she lost her job after police arrested her at a retirement home where she was working. Today, she has no money and no income, Norton said.
"She's lost everything. She has no family support."
Norton said one of her daughters recently had a baby but won't let Susan Hayhow visit because she believes what she read in the media.
Before delivering the sentence, Goodman read 16 victim impact statements.
He read out loud some comments from people who planned to adopt an orphan through Imagine Adoption.
One woman said she felt "forlorn" after calling the agency and getting no answer. A couple said they felt "violated" by the bankruptcy.
"Pay us back by making a positive impact," one woman wrote. "Choose good over evil, choose love over hate."
The judge asked Hayhow if she had anything to say before sentencing. Hayhow appeared too choked up to speak.
Goodman said some people probably wanted to see Hayhow jailed and said that's likely to happen if she breaches any of the conditions of her sentence.
gpaul@therecord.com , Twitter: @GPaulRecord
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If you'd like to check out this link, you will find the article below, as well as a couple of short news clips to watch that I found interesting: Guilty Plea by CEO Brings End to Imagine Adoption Fraud Saga
Guilty plea by CEO brings end to Imagine Adoption fraud saga
CTV Kitchener
Published Monday, May 4, 2015 5:37PM EDT
Last Updated Monday, May 4, 2015 6:28PM EDT
Published Monday, May 4, 2015 5:37PM EDT
Last Updated Monday, May 4, 2015 6:28PM EDT
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Acknowledging she was “reckless” or “willfully blind” in her use of the agency’s credit card, the former CEO of Imagine Adoption pleaded guilty Monday to one count of fraud.
Susan Hayhow was later sentenced to six months of house arrest, followed by 18 months of probation.
It’s the same sentence her ex-husband Rick – the organization’s chief financial officer – received in February.
Court documents show that Susan Hayhow used Imagine Adoption’s credit card to pay for about $46,500 worth of personal expenses – including travel, clothing and meals.
The adoption agency’s policies allowed her do that, provided she reimburse Imagine for the spending – which she expected Rick to do on her behalf.
According to an agreed statement of facts filed in court, Rick Hayhow did reimburse the agency – but from a related business account rather than from his then-wife’s personal bank account.
Susan Hayhow was also ordered to pay back $20,000.
The couple were initially accused of spending more than $420,000 in agency funds on personal expenses.
Addressing the court Monday, Crown prosecutor David Foulds said there was little proof anything like that occurred.
“There is no evidence that Imagine Adoption was a fraudulent scheme for the benefit of the Hayhows,” he said.
When Imagine Adoption went bankrupt in 2009, hundreds of parents were left stranded in the middle of the adoption process.
Some of them were eventually able to complete adoptions.
Others, like Robyn Bertucci, ended up losing significant money and not managing to adopt any children.
“She robbed me of being a parent,” Bertucci told CTV News after learning of Hayhow’s fate.
“How do you put a price on what she stole from me? I don’t think there is anything that could make me feel better.”
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Finally, one article from early 2010, summarizing the events surrounding the bankruptcy in July of 2009. Here's the link to the article: Payments to Ethiopia Soared
Payments to Ethiopia soared before adoption agency collapsed
By Brian Caldwell, The Record | March 1, 2010
CAMBRIDGE — Money going to an orphanage in Ethiopia allegedly soared in the year before an international adoption agency in Cambridge went bankrupt last summer.
The collapse of Imagine Adoption in July stunned more than 400 families hoping to adopt children and triggered a criminal fraud investigation.
Seven months later, with two Waterloo Regional Police investigators and an RCMP officer still working on it full-time, police are saying little about the case publicly.
But a court document used to obtain key financial records outlines the initial evidence and allegations against the non-profit agency’s top two officials — executive director Susan Hayhow and her husband, Rick, the former chief financial officer.
The document, called an information to obtain a search warrant, details allegedly suspicious actions that have not been proved in court and that have not been challenged by either Rick or Susan Hayhow. The Hayhows were not available for comment on allegations contained in the application.
Among the allegations in the search warrant application are that:
Payments to a transition home in Ethiopia — where the Christian agency kept orphaned children in the last stages of the lengthy adoption process — had climbed to $70,000 a month by May 2009.
A year earlier, according to meeting minutes of Imagine’s board of directors, the annual cost at the same transition home was $25,000 — or just over $2,000 a month.
The agency’s accountant did not know it had a corporate bank account in Ethiopia. He asked for financial records after learning of its existence, but never received cancelled cheques to account for payments.
The accountant was concerned about $30,000 to $40,000 a month in agency credit card expenses. He asked for statements, but never received them.
Questionable items charged to the cards included trips to Disney World, New York City and Deerhurst Resort in Muskoka. Others were for jewelry and a horse.
The accountant flagged numerous agency cheques as suspicious, including a $10,000 payment to Rick Hayhow that was not part of payroll. Landscaping and a $13,500 wrought-iron fence at the couple’s Cambridge house were also paid for with agency cheques.
Susan Hayhow gave herself a $30,000 raise the same month financial problems came to a head in June 2009, when board members seized control of the agency, cancelled its credit cards and stopped paying the Hayhows.
When asked to justify the raise at a meeting, Hayhow said she knew that a smaller, related agency — one of three operating under the Imagine Adoption name — would soon be shutting down and she would lose part of her pay.
The couple earned a combined income of $320,000 a year — $180,000 for Susan and $140,000 for Rick — by paying themselves separate amounts from two of the agencies. They both also drove leased luxury vehicles.
Alan Brown, the board member who went to police, was shocked by their salaries. He was also unaware of the arrangement allowing them to draw two pay cheques each for what was effectively one organization.
Susan Hayhow and her new boyfriend, Andrew Morrow, tried to restructure the failing agency using funds placed in trust for adoptive families. Their plan was denied by the provincial government.
Rick and Susan Hayhow separated about four months before the bankruptcy. Rick Hayhow resigned and was given severance pay of $140,000 — a year’s salary — without approval by the board.
Money moved among the three related agencies — Kids Link, St. Anne’s and Global Reach — without any supporting documentation.
Staff worried the waiting list for adoptions was too long and urged Susan Hayhow to stop taking on new clients.
Police detailed the evidence and allegations to get an order from a justice of the peace in late August for bankruptcy trustee BDO Dunwoody to turn over extensive financial documents.
“I believe that cheques and credit card statements will show expenses of a personal nature, payroll records will show that Susan and Rick Hayhow overpaid themselves and bank records will show excessive funds were transferred to Ethiopia,” Const. Yvonne Heltke of Waterloo Regional Police wrote in an affidavit supporting the application.
Ethiopia expenses worried board member
Much of the evidence Heltke relied on came from Brown, a Cambridge businessperson and friend of the couple who was asked to become a volunteer board member just over a year before the agency went broke.
“They had skyrocketed,” Brown said of the Ethiopia expenses in a recent interview. “We had difficulty determining why it would cost that much money to run that size of a facility.”
Imagine began to unravel after it came to light that Susan Hayhow was having an affair with Morrow, an agency board member and employee of Global Reach whose wife, Teresa, also worked for the organization.
Brown started looking into its finances after finding out how much the Hayhows were paying themselves to run the four-year-old agency, which had offices on King Street in the Preston area of Cambridge.
By the time he went to police, Brown had turned up more than $300,000 in suspect expenses starting in January 2007. Records before that time couldn’t be found.
“When you see the (credit card) statements, they were living the life of the rich and famous,” he said. “How many families do you know that go to New York for five days and drop $13,000?”
Brown said credit card statements suggested they were routinely used for personal expenses, including shopping at high-end clothing stores, restaurants, and spas, and extensive cosmetic dental work.
“I’m sure Paris Hilton’s credit card statement looks like that,” he said. “The expenses we saw, there’s no way you could justify them.”
Susan Hayhow was with Morrow in Ethiopia when the bankruptcy was announced, jeopardizing the hopes of hundreds of families across Canada who had paid up to $15,000 to adopt children from overseas.
Susan Taves, the bankruptcy trustee for BDO, said Susan Hayhow offered early in the process to repay any expenses that weren’t legitimate.
Taves followed up and formally asked her for about $200,000.
“There was no money being offered at that point in time,” Taves said. “We got a fairly lengthy reply from her lawyer, but no funds.”
Susan Hayhow and Morrow have since sold their fully-renovated, stone home in Cambridge. A real estate listing for $475,000 described it as “done to the nines.”
Taves said Susan Hayhow told her in an email this month that she is travelling, doesn’t have a home address and can’t be easily reached. All future contact was directed to her lawyer.
Olaf Heinzel, a spokesperson for regional police, said investigators have heard she might be in Ethiopia, but haven’t been able to confirm it.
Rick Hayhow, who owned the large stone house with his wife before they separated, also couldn’t be reached for comment.
Following months of turmoil and uncertainty, the core adoption agency was salvaged with a new board of directors and a stripped-down staff.
Adoptions have since resumed after a majority of clients voted to pay an extra $4,000 each to put it back on solid financial footing.---Source: The Record
The collapse of Imagine Adoption in July stunned more than 400 families hoping to adopt children and triggered a criminal fraud investigation.
Seven months later, with two Waterloo Regional Police investigators and an RCMP officer still working on it full-time, police are saying little about the case publicly.
But a court document used to obtain key financial records outlines the initial evidence and allegations against the non-profit agency’s top two officials — executive director Susan Hayhow and her husband, Rick, the former chief financial officer.
The document, called an information to obtain a search warrant, details allegedly suspicious actions that have not been proved in court and that have not been challenged by either Rick or Susan Hayhow. The Hayhows were not available for comment on allegations contained in the application.
Among the allegations in the search warrant application are that:
Payments to a transition home in Ethiopia — where the Christian agency kept orphaned children in the last stages of the lengthy adoption process — had climbed to $70,000 a month by May 2009.
A year earlier, according to meeting minutes of Imagine’s board of directors, the annual cost at the same transition home was $25,000 — or just over $2,000 a month.
The agency’s accountant did not know it had a corporate bank account in Ethiopia. He asked for financial records after learning of its existence, but never received cancelled cheques to account for payments.
The accountant was concerned about $30,000 to $40,000 a month in agency credit card expenses. He asked for statements, but never received them.
Questionable items charged to the cards included trips to Disney World, New York City and Deerhurst Resort in Muskoka. Others were for jewelry and a horse.
The accountant flagged numerous agency cheques as suspicious, including a $10,000 payment to Rick Hayhow that was not part of payroll. Landscaping and a $13,500 wrought-iron fence at the couple’s Cambridge house were also paid for with agency cheques.
Susan Hayhow gave herself a $30,000 raise the same month financial problems came to a head in June 2009, when board members seized control of the agency, cancelled its credit cards and stopped paying the Hayhows.
When asked to justify the raise at a meeting, Hayhow said she knew that a smaller, related agency — one of three operating under the Imagine Adoption name — would soon be shutting down and she would lose part of her pay.
The couple earned a combined income of $320,000 a year — $180,000 for Susan and $140,000 for Rick — by paying themselves separate amounts from two of the agencies. They both also drove leased luxury vehicles.
Alan Brown, the board member who went to police, was shocked by their salaries. He was also unaware of the arrangement allowing them to draw two pay cheques each for what was effectively one organization.
Susan Hayhow and her new boyfriend, Andrew Morrow, tried to restructure the failing agency using funds placed in trust for adoptive families. Their plan was denied by the provincial government.
Rick and Susan Hayhow separated about four months before the bankruptcy. Rick Hayhow resigned and was given severance pay of $140,000 — a year’s salary — without approval by the board.
Money moved among the three related agencies — Kids Link, St. Anne’s and Global Reach — without any supporting documentation.
Staff worried the waiting list for adoptions was too long and urged Susan Hayhow to stop taking on new clients.
Police detailed the evidence and allegations to get an order from a justice of the peace in late August for bankruptcy trustee BDO Dunwoody to turn over extensive financial documents.
“I believe that cheques and credit card statements will show expenses of a personal nature, payroll records will show that Susan and Rick Hayhow overpaid themselves and bank records will show excessive funds were transferred to Ethiopia,” Const. Yvonne Heltke of Waterloo Regional Police wrote in an affidavit supporting the application.
Ethiopia expenses worried board member
Much of the evidence Heltke relied on came from Brown, a Cambridge businessperson and friend of the couple who was asked to become a volunteer board member just over a year before the agency went broke.
“They had skyrocketed,” Brown said of the Ethiopia expenses in a recent interview. “We had difficulty determining why it would cost that much money to run that size of a facility.”
Imagine began to unravel after it came to light that Susan Hayhow was having an affair with Morrow, an agency board member and employee of Global Reach whose wife, Teresa, also worked for the organization.
Brown started looking into its finances after finding out how much the Hayhows were paying themselves to run the four-year-old agency, which had offices on King Street in the Preston area of Cambridge.
By the time he went to police, Brown had turned up more than $300,000 in suspect expenses starting in January 2007. Records before that time couldn’t be found.
“When you see the (credit card) statements, they were living the life of the rich and famous,” he said. “How many families do you know that go to New York for five days and drop $13,000?”
Brown said credit card statements suggested they were routinely used for personal expenses, including shopping at high-end clothing stores, restaurants, and spas, and extensive cosmetic dental work.
“I’m sure Paris Hilton’s credit card statement looks like that,” he said. “The expenses we saw, there’s no way you could justify them.”
Susan Hayhow was with Morrow in Ethiopia when the bankruptcy was announced, jeopardizing the hopes of hundreds of families across Canada who had paid up to $15,000 to adopt children from overseas.
Susan Taves, the bankruptcy trustee for BDO, said Susan Hayhow offered early in the process to repay any expenses that weren’t legitimate.
Taves followed up and formally asked her for about $200,000.
“There was no money being offered at that point in time,” Taves said. “We got a fairly lengthy reply from her lawyer, but no funds.”
Susan Hayhow and Morrow have since sold their fully-renovated, stone home in Cambridge. A real estate listing for $475,000 described it as “done to the nines.”
Taves said Susan Hayhow told her in an email this month that she is travelling, doesn’t have a home address and can’t be easily reached. All future contact was directed to her lawyer.
Olaf Heinzel, a spokesperson for regional police, said investigators have heard she might be in Ethiopia, but haven’t been able to confirm it.
Rick Hayhow, who owned the large stone house with his wife before they separated, also couldn’t be reached for comment.
Following months of turmoil and uncertainty, the core adoption agency was salvaged with a new board of directors and a stripped-down staff.
Adoptions have since resumed after a majority of clients voted to pay an extra $4,000 each to put it back on solid financial footing.---Source: The Record
Wow, what an anticlimax this guilty plea is, in a way. Yet also a relief that she didn't just walk away scot free with no consequences at all. I admire you for the role you played in keeping the adoption process going when this all erupted. I personally think that forgiveness is a very complicated process that occurs in 'phases' over time. In your case, IMHO, it includes:
ReplyDeletea) your grief/anguish when this came to light
b) your pursuit of justice for yourselves and other families by participating in restructuring
c) your conscious decision to forgive cognitively (over and over again)
d) your efforts to bring aid and funds to Ethiopia on each of your trips there and your ongoing interest in your youngest children's birth family
e) your conscious efforts at not allowing the legal process to derail your inner peace even though you have had to face the possibility of no formal justice or watered down justice being done.
f) your desire to be 'done'
Peace, shalom, salaam my friend.
Love, Joanne
P.S. Want to make sure you received my recent long-winded voice messages?
Hello dear friend.
DeleteYes, got your lovely messages - will be in touch shortly!
And thanks for the comment. Yes, 'anticlimax' - a very good word to describe it. And yes, all of those things you listed describe the journey as I've experienced it...likely for hundreds of other people as well.
Someday I'd still like to look Sue Hayhow in the eye, I admit it. Maybe it'll happen, likely it won't. Regardless, it is time for me to move on. I know others can't yet, but for me I think it can mostly be so...I want to put that energy elsewhere and not carry that baggage any longer.
I do hope so to see you soon, Joanne. We have much to discuss.
Love and hugs,
Ruth
Thank you for your updates Ruth. I knew Susan prior to her rest in a different field. I always wondered what happened with the case. I agree with you and must also put it behind me.
ReplyDelete