I've been a horrid blogger these last number of months. Up and down and all over the place. I've been at this for almost five years now and, for about 4.5 of those years I wrote 5-7 times/week. Faithfully. I loved it. Actually, I still love it.
But somehow this year, something's changed a little. I haven't even been keeping up with the current news of the Hayhow trial, which is something that's important to me (and, for those who don't know, a mistrial was declared last week, and it's unclear at this point whether or not the trial will go ahead anew or not...more in about a month on that subject, I think...very disappointing). I don't know if I'm on my way to fizzling out entirely or if I'm just a little tired of it at the moment, but I don't think about blogging as much these days. Lots of people still seem interested in reading it (300-750 independent readers/day); I still have things to say; but some of the verve has gone out of it for me. I miss the days when I got lots of comments on my posts and for sure comments keep me more interested in blogging, but the trend in the blogging world is for fewer comments so I'm not alone in noticing this.
I don't want to stop wanting to blog. I view blogging as a way of communicating with other people as well as a way of tracking things that are going on in my world: Inside of my head; in life as a parent to three great, crazy kids; as a homeschooler; as part of an adoptive family; through the various events and milestones that I want to mark; etc etc. When I publish my year's blog posts in a book at the end of every year, I love looking back through them and being reminded about what's happened over the past year; a few of these past few years I've posted so much that I had to publish my year-end book in two volumes! I might suck at life books and photo albums, but my kids will have this blog as a record of some of these childhood years...the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly. My blog books are awesome memories to have and to be able to look back on...and I'm hoping my kids feel the same way some day.
Our transition to unschooling has affected my blogging as well. A little strange, perhaps, but true. Although the kids have eased easily and happily into this new version of schooling at home, it's been a harder transition journey for me. I've had to make some changes to myself and that's never an easy thing. But more on that another day.
For now, I'm happy just to be here today. I can't promise tomorrow, can't promise next month. But I'd like to hang out with you a while longer yet, if that's ok.
Hi Ruth. I still love reading your blog so I keep at it. I am curious to know where you get your blog published into a book, or do you do it yourself?
ReplyDeleteWell, aren't you sweet - thanks!
DeleteI've used a couple of different sources to put my blog into book form: blurb, and iphoto (on my mac). I like them both, and they cost approximately the same (mine are a little pricey because I have hundreds of pages, along with photos, but worth it and, overall, not too bad in cost given that one book covers a full year). So I do it myself, using existing programs...and I usually wait until one of them sends me a 15-20% off coupon.
Ruth
Hello Ruth,
DeleteI can handle you thinking that you suck at some things. I believe that everyone has a thing or two which they simply 'suck' at. Like math for me. However, you should never for a moment think that you suck at blogging. Certainly, it would be terrific for those who read your blog to have you produce the volumes you used to, but we truly don't come by your blog for the quantity. You have a gift for writing in ways that make the reader feel, think, question, and savour your words. If you never feel the drive to blog again, you'd still garner great respect from your readers. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have stumbled across your blog!
P.S.-I hope to be better at commenting when my life gets a bit more 'normal'!
-Charity
Thanks Charity - you're very sweet! :) Your comments always leave me feeling encouraged and inspired...and I'm glad you stumbled across my blog, too, way back when...
DeleteHugs,
Ruth
I don't usually comment on blogs but I do read your blog and would like to keep reading it. I know that it takes up a lot of time and thought but it will be so great to have all of your blogs in book form for the children when they are grown.
ReplyDeleteTHanks!
DeleteRuth
So I tried several times the other day to post a comment but somehow I managed to delete my comment as many times as I tried to post one. Let's see if I can do better today.
ReplyDeleteI totally get the feeling about having done something diligently and having it then fizzle out. I used to check email several times a day and now I'm lucky if I check once a week. My feeling is that it has something to do with contentedness (is that a word?). Not sure it makes sense, but that's my feeling.
As for the Hayhows, ugh! I have such mixed feelings about the bankruptcy (if it had not happened I would not have these 2 boys who are so a part of me), but wish it had never happened and what to make sure that justice happens.
Anyway, I love reading your posts and am here to read them whenever you post.
Ellen
Hey Ellen, and thanks for trying again with your comment! I've been missing you...more so since not getting to see you when we were in Ontario!
DeleteTell me more about this contentedness notion...I'd like to hear more.
And the Hayhows, yes, I feel soo mixed on it all for the same reason as you. These days I learn more to the side of feeling somehow ripped off that they may end up getting away with what they did...I just can't get around the fact that if they're not found guilty of something, how on earth does alllllll of that missing money get explained away? It's hard to take, when so many have been so hurt by them.
Finally, thanks for being here whenever I post. Just thanks.
Ruth
Ahh! I just had another long reply typed and yet again managed to delete it. Arg! I guess I'missed having a tougher time adjusting to my new tablet than I thought I would after having a school board iPad for 8 months.
ReplyDeleteSo, here are my thoughts on contentedness. When you were at the peak of your blogging (and my obsessive email checking at this end), you/we would have had a much greater sense of urgency given that we were were on the roller-coaster of a ride of our lives: adoption. On that roller-coaster things would change so quickly in both the long period leading up to meetin our children but also in those first years of forming family bonds and routines. If you didn't writ "now" about issue a, b or c, by tomorrow those issues, although really important the day before, have been replaced by different mega-issues. Now, you can be content to mull things over and let them grow or shrink away as they need to because there is not the same urgency with these issues. They are issues of daily life, for those who have a certain amount of peace with where they are as a family today. You are content with the path you have chosen for schooling, with the completion of your family (which I will assume unless I hear otherwise), with the way you providing as much organic and local food for your family as you can, etc... Are there things to change and improve upon? Of course. But now you can feel more freedom to ponder longer without risking another agency bankruptcy, changing expectations of local and/or foreign agencies and governments or the myriad of other things that can happen during the process. If life were a continuum of some sort (or a series of crossing spirals?) with high emotions being at one end and "contentedness" at the other, a family in the process of adopting and adjusting after the adoption honeymoon would be at the emotion end. A family for whom adoption is important because it is how the family was built but they are no longer in the heat of everything are more toward the contented end. To go back to the roller-coaster, during the process (and then during the year-s of adjustment), you are on the whip-you-around-flip-you-upside-down-travelling-fast-even-when-time-stands-still roller-coaster urgently trying to predict what is around the next corner while still adjusting to what just happened. Now that all that has passed, we are on a kiddy coaster, content to deal with the turns and dips and climbs as they come at a (hopefully) more gentle pace. How's that for imagery? I hope I've done an OK job of explaining my idea of entering a state of post-adoption contentedness. To me it's a sign that we are now dealing more with "everyday" issues and less with post-traumatic issues. The balance has changed.
And on another note, we celebrated the end of the year, I'm ashamed to say, with "slushies" for the boys and an ice cream float for me. I don't even remember how the slushie tradition started, but Cody now looks forward to his once a year dose of food colouring and pretty much knows not to ask for it at any other time. This little celebration feels big to the boys and is about all I can muster on the last day.
So, you'very got another of my long rambles tonight. Enjoy!
Ellen
YOU are talking to ME about long rambles???!!!! Take a look at the name of my blog, my friend. I am truly a rambler...so it's a-ok with me for you to ramble. I love it!
DeleteI think that actually makes a lot of sense, Ellen...thanks for sharing your thoughts. The idea of having been in a state of urgency during those roller-coaster times really struck a chord with me...and the need to capture life before it moved on to the next day's urgent issues. I am so glad to be beyond some of those urgent days of 2009-2012/2013. There is a sense of greater relaxation/contentment - there are, of course, still lots of issues every. single. day, but you're very right that we've moved (hopefully) beyond the most dramatic of them. There is greater balance. Hmm. Interesting thoughts.
And I LOVE the end-of-the-year celebration - slushies and floats sound great to me! Your boys are lucky to have a mama that marks the occasion with a special treat - that's what memories are made of.
Thanks, Ellen, for taking the time to flesh out your thoughts - you've given me stuff to think on.
Hugs,
Ruth